


The Road Not Taken

by nosecoffee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Reincarnation AU, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6100261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And I shall be telling<br/>This with a sigh,<br/>Somewhere ages<br/>And ages hence:<br/>Two roads,<br/>Diverged in a wood,<br/>And I-<br/>I took the one less traveled by,<br/>And that has made<br/>All the difference."<br/>- 'The Road Not Taken', Robert Frost</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road Not Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Reincarnation AU!!!!! Cause I was bored. I see so many of these around, and they're all so good, so I figured I'd take a crack at it.  
> Enjoy!

**1776**

  
"Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?"

  
The tall man turned and loomed down at Alexander. He looked him up and down, an unsure look on his face. "That depends, who's asking?"

  
Alexander smiled. "Oh sure, sir."

* * *

 

"Burr, the revolution's imminent!" Laurens hollered. "What do you stall for?"

  
Alexander tore his gaze away from the three men and fixed his eyes on Burr.

  
"If you stand for nothing, Burr, what'll you fall for?"

  
All four men turned to look at him. Burr was glaring, like Alexander had just killed his puppy, but the other three looked intrigued.

  
"Who are you?"

  
"Who are you?"

  
"Who are you?"

  
"Who is this kid? What's he gonna do?"

  
Their voices were inviting, he couldn't help being dragged in.

* * *

 

"I need someone like you to lighten the load. So?" Washington's hand was on his shoulder.

  
Alexander thought back to the night he met Laurens and Lafayette and Mulligan.

  
_'I am not throwing away my shot, I am not throwing away my shot, hey, I'm just like my country, I'm young, scrappy and hungry-'_

  
"I am not throwing away my shot."

* * *

 

"Strong words from Lee, someone oughta hold him to it," Laurens seethed. Alexander sighed.

  
"I can't disobey direct orders."

  
"Then I'll do it."

  
He looked up into Laurens' sincere eyes. "Alexander, you're the closest friend I got."

  
Alexander gripped his friends arm tightly. "Laurens, do not throw away your shot."

* * *

 

"My names been through a lot, I can take it!"

  
"We'll I don't have your name!" Alexander cried, slamming his fist into Washington's desk top. "I don't have your titles, I don't have your land, but if you-"

  
"No!" Washington cut him off, knowing what he was going to say, but Alexander continued.

  
"-If you gave me a command of a battalion, a group of men to lead, I could fly above my station after the war-"

  
"Or you could die! And we need you alive!" Washington yelled.

  
"I am more than willing to die-!"

  
"You wife needs you alive, son, I need you alive-"

  
"CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME." Alexander threw the ink pot against the side of the tent, splattering it with ink.

  
Washington sighed. "Go home, Alexander. That's an order from your commander."

  
Alexander felt the fight drain from him. "But, sir-"

  
"Go. Home."

* * *

 

"How long have you known?" Eliza took his hand and placed it over her stomach. It was too early to feel anything, but Alex swore he could feel a tiny heartbeat beneath his hand.

  
"A month or so."

  
"Eliza, you should have told me." She looked earnest.

  
"I wrote the general a month ago-"

  
"No."

  
"I begged him to send you home."

  
"You should have  _told_ me..."

  
"I'm not sorry." She grasped his hands a little tighter.

  
He knew she wanted him to be happy for them - and God, he was - but after everything that had happened, he wasn't sure he could support them.

  
"I knew you'd fight until the war was won," she said, shaking her head.

  
"The wars not done," he murmured.

  
"But you deserve a chance to meet your son."

  
Alexander breathed in shakily and lent his head against her forehead. Maybe they were right. Maybe he needed a break.

* * *

 

"And as our fallen foes retreat, I hear the drinking song they're singing."

  
_'The world turned upside down. The world turned upside down. The world turned upside down. The world turned upside down, down, down, down!'_

  
Alexander saw Lafayette cheering somewhere in the crowd. "Freedom for America, freedom for France!" The Frenchman crowed.

  
"Gotta start a new nation, gotta meet my son." Alexander said to himself, knowing Betsy would wait for him, and show him the beautiful son she'd spoken so much about.

  
Through the cheering he could hear certain voices yelling, "We won! We won! We won! We won!"

  
It was hard to believe the world had turned upside down in this way.

* * *

 

Philip gazed up at him with his big round doe eyes.

  
Eliza was standing behind him, her arms wrapped lightly around his waist, chin tucked on his shoulder, watching them.

  
"Pride is not the word I'm looking for, there is so much more inside me now." He murmured to the baby, and Philip yawned, closing his eyes.

  
"My father wasn't around. I swear that I'll be around for you. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll make the world safe and sound for you." Alexander promised his son, and he felt Eliza sigh contentedly against his shoulder.

  
He tipped his head so that it lent against hers, and closed his eyes, wondering how he had managed to snag such a beautiful family.

* * *

 

"No it's not."

  
Alexander looked up, frightened, subconsciously recognising the signs, but not processing them.

  
He was scared. "Will you read it?"

  
"'On Tuesday the 27th, Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens was killed in a gunfight, against British troops, in South Carolina'."

  
Alexander felt his mind go blank. Funny, smart, incredible Laurens. Dead.

  
Words wouldn't come. Neither would tears.

  
Alexander didn't even leave himself enough time to grieve.

* * *

 

_'Why do you write like you're running out of time, like you're running out of time? Are you running out of time?'_

  
Alexander didn't know. Maybe he was.

* * *

 

"Take a break..."

  
"I have to get my plan through Congress." He told the two apologetically, and closed the door of his study. "I can't stop 'til I get this plan through Congress."

  
And he worked, like he was trying to make it up to Eliza and Angelica and Philip and little Angie.

  
Like he was trying to prove to himself that he couldn't feel his heart ticking inside of him, like a bomb about to explode.

* * *

 

"I don't want you!" He yelled, pulling out of her grip. She looked wrecked, bruises on her arms and neck and face and sure, he didn't want to leave her like this, looking like her world had come crashing down around her, but if he didn't leave now, he wouldn't leave at all.

  
"If you pay, you can stay!" Maria practically screamed.

  
She collapsed onto her knees and cried into her hands.

  
"Lord show me how to say no to this." He whispered and found himself moving forward to crouch by her side. "I don't say no to this. There is nowhere I can go."

  
_'Go, go, go.'_

  
"So?" Alexander hadn't even noticed James standing in the doorway.

  
Maria cowered away from both men, and he felt terrible for yelling at her.

  
He stood and turned to the smirking man.

  
Alexander pulled out his wallet, and shoved a wad of cash in the mans hand. "Nobody needs to know."

* * *

 

"Did you forget Lafayette?"

  
Alexander turned, his face dark.

  
"What?"

  
"Have you an ounce of regret?" Jefferson looked sincerely concerned. "You accumulate debt, you accumulate power, yet in their hour of need you forget."

  
"Lafayette's a smart man," he replied, shoving all necessary files in a bag. "He'll be fine."

* * *

 

It wasn't like he had much to lose anyway.

  
Washington had stepped down and gone home to his wife, Adams - that dim motherfucker - had fired him, and his mind scape was in tatters anyway.

  
_'Sit DOWN John, you fat mother-'_

* * *

 

"Burr," Alexander turned urgently to the man before him. "How do I know you won't use this against me the next time we go to-to-toe?"

  
"Alexander, rumours only grow," Burr replied briskly. He turned in the doorway with a knowing smirk. "And we both know what we know."

* * *

 

"I'll write my way out, overwhelm them with honesty." Alexander told himself, feverishly. "This is the eye of the hurricane, this is the only way I can protect my legacy."

  
_'Wait for it, wait for it, wait-'_

  
He looked down at the writing he had spent his time in, his ink-splattered fingers thumbing the pages.

  
"'The Reynolds Pamphlet'."

* * *

 

"You can never be satisfied, god I hope you're satisfied!"

  
Angelica's anger was ruthless, and cut him like a knife. No less than he deserved, Alexander supposed, but it stung nonetheless.

  
Eliza looked lost, like she couldn't quite believe this was real.

  
God, he wished it wasn't.

  
But in the end wasn't it for the better?

* * *

 

"We played piano."

  
"I taught you piano." Eliza was teary eyed, stroking her sons hair back from his head. The doctors weren't even acting like Philip would pull through.

  
"You would put your hands on mine."

  
"You changed the melody every time."

  
"I would always change the line."

  
"I know, I know."

  
"I would always change the line."

  
"I know, I know."

  
They were counting in French, the way they did when Philip was nine. And Eliza was smiling because Philip was responding, and obviously he would survive.

  
But then his counting cut off and Eliza screamed.

* * *

 

Alexander often wondered these days if there was any worse punishment for what he had done to them.

  
Philip was dead, Eliza wouldn't talk to him, and Angie kept playing pretend, asking where Philip had gone.

  
He often wondered if Philip would enjoy living uptown, like they were now, having moved away from their old place, on account of the fact that memories of Philip haunted every crevice.

  
Eliza started talking again, even let him take her on walks with him.

  
And then one day, while standing in their garden, side-by-side, she took his hand and his breath stopped.

  
"It's quiet uptown." She whispered and he wondered how she had found it in her heart to forgive him.

* * *

 

_'I have the honour to be_   
_Your Obedient Servant,_   
_A.Ham.'_

  
He sealed the letter that sealed his fate and put on his coat to go mail it.

* * *

 

"This meeting's at dawn."

  
Surely, somewhere deep in her subconscious, alarms were going off. Surely, she'd realise his meaning and berate him and make him stay.

  
Surely, she would understand.

  
"Well, I'm going back to sleep."

  
No.

  
She was too tired.

  
Alexander wished there was away to phrase everything he felt for her in a single farewell letter, but there wasn't and he felt her leave him.

  
"Hey," she turned sleepily and smiled at him. "Best of wives and best of women."

  
Eliza walked back to bed.

* * *

 

He watched Burr's finger tighten on the trigger and everything stopped. Including his heart.

  
He had a split second decision to make and Alexander thought of everything that he'd done.

  
He thought of the people he'd lost, the people he'd known, and how the pang of sadness washed over him.

  
Alexander swore that for a second he saw the other side, where Laurens and Philip and Washington and his mother beckoned.

  
And then he thought of his poor Betsy, who knew of none of this, and was sound asleep in her bed, assured by her husband that he'd be back.

  
And he swore that he'd see her on the other side.

  
"Raise a glass to freedom."

  
His pistol was aimed at the sky.

* * *

 

The bullet hit him between his ribs and he doubled over before collapsing to the ground and stayed paralysed, blood running from his chest wound.

  
The next few hours blurred together, hurried whispers and crying and Angelica and Eliza - Betsy - sitting beside him, holding his hand until he couldn't feel anything and his vision went black and the words "I love you" died on his lips as he did, and he was never sure who they were intended for.

* * *

 

**2016**

  
Alex Hamilton sipped his coffee methodically, eavesdropping on the French student who was sitting behind him rant about some guy named Aaron Burr.

  
"He's a dickhead!" The Frenchman said.

  
"He's a prodigy," The freckley boy with the Southern accent protested. "Graduated from Princeton at sixteen."

  
The muscular boy snorted. "And now he's going to Columbia? Why?"

  
"He majored in Political Sciences at Princeton and I hear he's going for a Law degree here." Southern boy said.

  
A law degree, huh? Alex thought to himself, wondering if he should download the Twitter App and maybe talk to this guy about being a supposed "prodigy" as Freckles eloquently put it.

  
But he shook his head, stuffed his phone in his pocket and left.

  
He wasn't about to go chasing a guy down a street.

 

 

 

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> Hope that you liked this.  
> As always, my Tumblr is nose-coffee and you can follow me, give me prompts or just yell at me about Hamilton. I'll probably yell back.  
> Thanks! :P


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